About

I was born on a cold dark cloudy April day in Pittsburgh in the good year of our lord nineteen hundred and eighty one.* Little known fact – I was only the second baby in history to laugh after birth (as opposed to crying like most “typical” babies). I had a normal childhood. The Dos Equis character, “The Most interesting Man in the World,” was based on my father’s moustache. One of my ancestors invented the question mark in the 12th century making me one of heirs to the ancient and honorable Question mark (?®) fortune.

High School was typical; I graduated by the age of 12 and left home to wander the earth. I wrote “What if god was one of us?” on a napkin for Joane Osborne (whom I mistakenly thought was related to Ozzie at the time). I then went on to bullfight professionally in Cabo through the winter of ’95, then went on to win a bronze medal in Nunchuckery during the ’96 Olympic games in the fine city of Atlanta. I Played Jai alai for the Clear Water Flamingos JC during the turn of the century until an epidermic injury put a stop to my career.

I first went to college at GMU. During my undergrad years I was part of an illustrious group of imagineers that actually constructed a working time machine. On one occasion of note, I punched Harry Houdini in the stomach, not really sure what happened after that. A movie loosely based on my life called Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow was made in 2004.

Later, I got a couple of jobs in the design field. Later than that I went to grad school, punched a ghost (possibly Houdini again?), and have been clocked running at speeds upwards of 30 mph. I got another job after that. The great recession hit. I had to do some other things… now I’m here (how profound).
* After the asterisk… its mostly fiction, don’t be mad, I did it all for you.

If you want a serious look at my work history, please download my Resume! You’re tired of reading resumes you say? No worries, you can download my Infographic Resume! Or shoot me an Email, we can discuss serious things.